John’s Testimony

Intro

My name is John, and my adult life has been dedicated to service in the U.S. Army and law enforcement. I served three years in the military, followed by 21 years with the Ithaca, NY Police Department. I spent nearly three years in Afghanistan as a U.S. Police Advisor, twelve years with the Tennessee Department of Safety, and I currently serve with the Millersville, TN Police Department.

Afghanistan was one of the most dangerous seasons of my life. I was shot at with rifles and rocket-propelled grenades, survived rocket attacks, and faced plots involving improvised explosive devices (IEDs). I lost friends, co-workers, and fellow servicemen in that environment. Closer to home, my wife Teri and I endured the heartbreaking loss of a dear friend—a fellow officer killed in the line of duty. Over the years, our lives have been marked by countless unpredictable and often harrowing experiences. Teri calls our home the “Henny Penny house,” because it has often felt like the sky was always falling.

One day, Teri was watching an interview with Jennifer O’Neill on Pastor Allen Jackson’s program on TBN. She felt that equine therapy at HOPE and HEALING at HILLENGLADE (HHH) could help me. When she shared it, I thought she would benefit as well. Together, we attended sessions at HHH with Jennifer O’Neill. We have now participated in three sessions, journaling our experiences and reflecting on the ways they’ve impacted both our relationship and our individual lives.

Session One – First Encounters

Jen explained the process and introduced us to the horses. The videos and background stories deeply moved us—especially watching the horse visiting a hospital and choosing which patients to comfort. That image brought tears to my eyes.

I’m not someone who shows emotions easily. Police training conditions you to stay neutral: don’t laugh, don’t cry, don’t reveal weakness. When I do cry—at a funeral, for example—it tends to overwhelm me because so much has been held in.

But in that first session, interacting with the horses touched something in me. At first, their power and size were intimidating, but very quickly I realized how sensitive, gentle, and loving they are. Speaking to them, touching them—it opened my eyes to how much stress I carry daily, and how these animals could help me begin to release it.

Session Two – Learning to Release

The second session was more interactive. Working with the horses required my full attention—focusing on leading them, not on myself. Grooming and touching them was deeply therapeutic.

I live with high blood pressure and take medication daily. After this session, I felt like I had taken a double dose. My body was completely relaxed—I could have fallen asleep right there in the barn.

Session Three – A Breakthrough

By the third session, I felt a breakthrough. I was learning how to communicate with the horses and guide them, while also receiving Jen’s insights. Most importantly, I felt something I hadn’t expected—love from my horse, Whiskey.

It made me realize something powerful: Horses, I realized, absorb stress—but they know how to let it go. For over forty years, I have absorbed the stress of others: listening, problem-solving, responding to tragedies, and enduring violence, threats, and loss. I’ve been other people’s “horse.” But unlike these animals, I never learned to release what I carried. Too often, I passed that weight onto Teri.

She has borne that weight silently for decades—living with my burdens and also carrying her own. Teri has responded to major disasters, including 9/11 and hurricanes. She has lived with the constant question every law enforcement spouse carries: Is he safe? Will he come home today? Being married to a police officer, I believe, is harder than being one.

In that third session, though, I became aware in a new way of the tension I was holding—and I experienced the relief of letting it go. I also felt the compassion of Whiskey reflected back to me, and I recognized the healing God was weaving into this experience. Jennifer’s insight and encouragement, paired with her reminders of God’s presence in the process, turned those moments into epiphanies.

Moving Forward

My time at HHH has given me more than I ever expected—peace in my body, energy in my spirit, and hope in my heart. It has brought Teri and me closer together, reminding us that we’re a team walking this journey side by side. Through the horses, Jen’s guidance, and God’s presence, I’ve gained tools to release, rest, and truly heal—strengthening both my own peace and the partnership Teri and I have built through years of hardship and love.